How I Found “Another Way”-My Non Review of “Don’t Think Twice”
I’ve been trying to get people to notice me since I was 4 years old. It’s not a truth I’m particularly proud of, but it’s my truth nonetheless. It’s in my genetic code. I have something unique. It’s my creativity, and what I know most of all is I can’t be happy in life without it. I know I can “live” technically speaking without it. Creativity through improv, and blogging doesn’t allow me to breathe per say, but I do know I wouldn’t be happy in life without it. Such is the ride I took upon viewing the movie “Don’t Think Twice”. This is not a review of the movie. I don’t want to ruin it for anyone who hasn’t seen it. This is a write up of how I related to it. (Ok, there may be ONE character SPOILER later on, but I’ll give you warning.) The movie centers around 6 friends in improv, and what happens to their group dynamic when some get a shot at the brass ring and some don’t, and how you can still find your way with your art no matter what.
How I feel about it can’t be expressed simply. It brought up several feelings in me. It brings up love in friendship. What we have with our team mates is very much like family, and like family; we can also hate them sometimes. It’s very close and uncomfortable. I think it has a lot to do with what Bill (Chris Gethard) said in the movie. I’m paraphrasing here; but it went something like: “…it’s like I have a secret when I’m doing my day job. I go there knowing that every night I kill on stage. Every night I make people laugh; but without improv, I’m nothing. I’m just a loser.” We don’t share the bonds of blood, but we share this secret together. The secret that we have a gift to make people laugh and when you can catch someone off guard and make them laugh and forget about what was once bothering them is a pretty powerful feeling. When you surround yourselves with people like that though there’s also some negative stuff that comes out which is also illustrated in Don’t Think Twice. It’s only human. There’s jealousy. “What? That person made the team and I didn’t? Really them? God. If they are picking them over me, I must really suck at this!” Yes. I’ve had that thought. It’s one of the reasons I don’t perform as much anymore actually. I’ve come to learn I just don’t have the stomach for it. There’s ego. “I know I’m the talent here, and this is what I’m doing…” Haven’t had that thought myself, but I’ve witnessed others who have. See. Not all fun and rainbows, but for better or worse we keep coming back. Why? Because if we truly love it, we always will come back in one way or another. I most related to “Sam” (stop reading now if you don’t want a spoiler) in the movie Sam is offered something wonderful, but ends up walking away from it as she knows it’s not where she belongs, and that can be o.k.! This hit very close to home for me, and I totally knew this would be her fate, as it felt so much like me. Like in movie I know I have something to offer, but I also know I hate the insecurities I feel and the egos that surrounded this “art”; so like Sam I found another way to engage and still feel connected to the art of improv. Sam went into teaching; I went into blogging about it. A lot of people ask if I miss performing, and why I don’t really “do it” anymore. Well, now you know, and please read this the right way….it’s OK!
Last night I took my son to see “Finding Dory” and that movie brought up another lesson I’ve learned that applies here. It’s the lesson that “there’s always another way…” and if you love improv, here’s hoping you find it like I did. I say this because the truth is you’re NOT always going to get chosen to perform. You’re probably not going to make the “big time”, so while you’re waiting for that to happen; find another way. Carve your own path. I’m not saying that’s easy, but I am saying if you wanna keep going in improv you may need it feed your soul when the rejections hit. Blogging is mine. Now I’m still a part of this amazing community I love without feeling like I’m competing with any of them. I can champion this art form and not feel bad about not doing as well as I thought I would or what people are thinking of me when I’m on stage. I get to meet and chat it up with amazing performers who I might not otherwise have gotten to talk to. Speaking of which, I got the chance to briefly meet and chat with Kate Micucci at last Thursday’s screening. I told her how I used to perform and now I blog about it. She said: “that’s wonderful! improv and the arts needs voices for them, that’s so cool you do that for this community…” and then I proceeded to “fan girl” over her about her comedy act “Garfunkel and Oats” and her Big Bang Theory role as Fez’s girlfriend in several episodes. She beautiful and genuine and I’ll never forget meeting and chatting with her. So, there you have it. That’s how I related to Don’t Think Twice, and how I fell into blogging, and why I’m still here, and why I haven’t looked back or regretted it ever since.